Technology Is Confusing. That’s Not Your Fault.

← Back to all articles

If you’ve ever sat in front of a computer, tablet, or phone and thought — why can’t I figure this out? — this article is for you.

You’re not alone. And more importantly: the difficulty you’re experiencing is not a reflection of your intelligence. It’s a reflection of how these devices were designed — and for whom.

---

Technology Was Not Designed With You in Mind

Most of the software, apps, and devices we use every day were built by young engineers for young users. The assumption baked into almost everything — from the size of the text to the logic of the menus — is that you already know how it works.

When an update rolls out and suddenly everything looks different, that’s not a glitch. That’s a product team making changes without asking the people who use it daily how those changes might affect them.

When a button disappears, or a setting moves, or a new pop-up appears asking you to do something you don’t understand — that’s not you failing to keep up. That’s design that didn’t account for you.

---

There Is No Such Thing as a Silly Tech Question

In my work, I hear the same thing from people all the time: “I feel so stupid asking this.”

Here’s what I know after decades of helping people with technology: the questions people are most embarrassed to ask are usually the ones that reveal the biggest gaps in how technology has been explained — or more often, never explained at all.

Nobody is born knowing how to set up two-factor authentication. Nobody instinctively understands why their photos disappeared or where their files went. These are things people learn, usually by being shown once by someone patient.

---

What Actually Helps

The single most effective thing for building confidence with technology is not a YouTube tutorial or a thick instruction manual. It’s having someone sit with you, at your pace, working through your specific device and your specific questions — without judgment, without rushing, and without making you feel foolish for asking.

A few things that make a real difference:

• One thing at a time. Trying to learn too much at once leads to overwhelm. Pick one thing — your email, your photos, your video calls — and get comfortable with that before moving on.
• Write it down. Keep a small notebook near your device. When someone shows you something, write the steps in your own words. You don’t need to remember everything — you just need to know where to look.
• Ask the same question as many times as you need to. There’s no limit. There’s no judgment. If it didn’t stick the first time, that’s not a failure — it’s just how learning works.
• Know that it gets easier. The first few times anything is hard. The tenth time, it starts to feel familiar. The hundredth time, you don’t think about it at all.

---

You Deserve to Feel Comfortable With Your Own Device

Your phone, your tablet, your computer — these are tools that are supposed to make your life easier and keep you connected to the people you love. They shouldn’t make you feel anxious, embarrassed, or left behind.

If they do, that’s worth fixing. And it can be fixed — one session, one question, one small win at a time.

🖨 Print this article